“It’s an institutionalized form of madness, outrageous, all-consuming, and incurable. I’m ashamed to have been a part of it.”

It’s interesting then, that now, a little over a month later, the team that I am working on has decided to file a invention disclosure with IBM. Before IBM will pay to file a patent, the inventors must convince an internal review board of the uniqueness and importance of the proposed patent to ensure that IBM does not waste money filing patents which have not been adequately researched or have no potential to generate licensing revenue.

The patent that my team wants to file is, of course, a software patent. I don’t know how I feel about this.

I can’t discuss the specifics of the project we are working on, but judging by our initial research of prior art, no one has yet patented this type of application with the features we wish to claim. In addition, patents have been granted for similar applications which makes it look likely that ours would be granted.

But when I think about the software tool that we have created, I cannot really convince myself that it is patent-worthy. The software was developed to re-engineer a tedious manual process. We saw a need, and decided that it could be filled with software. There are no unique algorithms (although algorithms are not patentable), no amazing new code tricks, just functionality that the people at IBM decided it would be nice to create software for.

Unlike Mark’s patent, this software would not be applicable outside the semiconductor industry, which makes me feel better about potentially filing a patent for it. But I’m not sure that I agree with the concept of software patents in general. Patenting a software program is about the closest you can get to patenting an idea. The patent system is not about protecting ideas – it’s about protecting specific implementations of ideas, however broad they may be. (For an example, check out the Google Patent Search for random number generator.) The inventor must demonstrate in the patent that a prototype would be feasible to construct. Software, however, is independent of its implementation. It doesn’t matter whether you wrote the thing in C++, Java, or even Scheme, it’s the compiled (or interpreted) machine code that matters. Software is not even tangible; it only exists as an encoded stream of bits on a computer. In order to patent it, you have to use special wording to the effect that you want to patent the memory containing the software that makes the computer perform the steps you are claiming.

I’m really interested to hear what others think about this issue. What is your view on software patents? Or on the patent system in general? Let me know in the comments.

We here at the University of Rochester see a sickening amount of UR puns throughout the year. The prize for winning Intramural sports is a shirt that says “UR A Champion,” the orientation packets say “UR Here,” and the money on our debit account is called “URos,” pronounced like Euros. There are even Facebook groups dedicated to curbing the proliferation of UR puns. And now they show up on not one, but two different Valentine’s Day hearts. Maybe the Admissions Office should start sending out “UR Mine” hearts with acceptance packages, and “UR Bad” hearts with rejection letters. OK, that idea was even worse than the original pun. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Picture courtesy of BaddMinton

There’s one thing, however, that I can’t resolve. Is butterbeer alcoholic? We know that it certainly has an effect on house-elves. Winky, the Crouch family’s elf, is often found drunk by the fire with empty butterbeer bottles around her. But does butterbeer have an effect on humans? Why are Hogwarts students allowed to drink butterbeer, but not order other concoctions from the bar such as Firewhisky?

I think I may have found a clue when I recently reread the 6th book, Half-Blood Prince. In the 14th chapter, “Felix Felicis,” just after the part where Hermione reveals that she was thinking of asking Ron to Professor Slughorn’s Christmas party, there are these lines:

“Although Harry watched his two friends more closely over the next few days, Ron and Hermione did not seem any different except that they were a little politer to each other than usual. Harry supposed he would just have to wait to see what happened under the influence of butterbeer in Slughorn’s dimly lit room on the night of the party.”

This quote proves that butterbeer has some of the same effects as alcohol, namely reducing one’s social inhibitions. I’ve decided, however, that butterbeer probably doesn’t contain alcohol. Why would wizards, who can brew sophisticated potions, rely on something as imperfect as alcohol to give them a buzz? Butterbeer is probably made with a low dosage of some kind of potion that simulates the effects of alcohol. Its effect on humans is minimal, but house-elves, being much smaller, are able to get drunk off of it. Other wizarding “drinks” could be made with other potions. Personally, I imagine that the contents of Firewhisky are such that you can breathe fire after you drink it.

Of course this brings up interesting cultural overtones. Most Americans cannot imagine alcohol being served to 13-year-olds, but Europe is more liberal about that sort of thing. I wonder if British readers automatically assume that butterbeer is at least slightly alcoholic?

There are many butterbeer recipes on the internet, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. My friend made some a few weeks ago. The main ingredient was cream soda, and we drank it hot. It was really delicious. I think J.K. Rowling should contract someone like Jones Soda to produce an official butterbeer; she could probably make a lot of licensing revenue.

Feel free to chime in with your thoughts on butterbeer in the comments.

I kept putting it off, however, and it wasn’t until today that I realized that I was so worried about not getting a job there that I hadn’t done anything to try to get the job. The same thing happened to me earlier this year. I really wanted to work for the Admissions Office at school as a tour guide, but I was quite nervous about what I had heard was a grueling application process. Yes, the process was awful, especially during final exams, but I came away from it more experienced with interviews and public speaking, and I got the job.

I’ve never been a person to give up on great opportunities just because there is risk of failure. However, I have had such a string of successes in my life, most recently with scholarships and college applications, that I feel like at some point I’m going to lose out on a big one. But this is no reason to stop trying.

There are so many reasons I want to work at Apple, first and foremost because I love their products, but also because I want a new experience. I’ve been in Burlington the past two summers working at IBM, and I want a chance to explore California and meet some new people.

So let me announce it publicly. (deep breath) I’m applying for an internship at Apple this summer. I’ll let you know how it goes.

• When I type 63, I want the word ‘me’ to come up first, not ‘of’.
• It’s funny how T9 doesn’t recognize the most common used texting abbreviations. When I press the 8 key, ‘u’ should show up, because it is more likely to be used by itself than ‘t’. And if you push the next key, ‘v’ comes up? You have to push next twice to get to ‘u’. Who made this behavior standard?
• Same thing with the 9 key, give me a ‘y’ instead of an ‘x’.
• Why don’t common contractions show up unless you put in an apostrophe? I want to be able to type ‘isnt’ just like that but instead I get ‘grou’. Hello, T9 developers, ‘grou’ isn’t a word, give me a better choice. I get ‘theses’ instead of ‘theres’ and ‘warmt’ instead of ‘wasnt’ as well.

This list is by no means complete; its just the annoyances I came up with off the top of my head. My biggest question is if T9 can learn new words by typing in abc mode, than why can’t it become smarter about which words I use most often? If I end up with ‘me’ more often than ‘of’, then give me ‘me’ next time. That’s what Quicksilver does.

If I had a phone that ran Linux, I would so hack T9.

• “as cool as the other side of the pillow” — Man this is such a great expression, I have to start using it.
• “Diet Potato Chips…. the reason we fight terrorists to keep America free…..” — Well, I could think of some better reasons. Diet food tastes like crap, and I wouldn’t trust the synthetic sugars. But, you know, different strokes for different folks.
• “feeling like shit…staying in tonight” — Me too. Got a mild cold.
• “I’m not talking about dance lessons. I’m talking about putting a brick in the other guy’s windshield. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up.” — I googled it. Royal Tenenbaums. Sorry, it’s on my “to watch” list.
• “damn it is early…getting a prom queen” — Yeah right, Dave.
• “ahhh fuck yea, endicott can suck my nuts” — Some emotional catharsis, from a person who is not usually mad. Nice.
• “sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…maybe” — There are so many things that could mean. I have a dirty mind.
• “they call me Czar Nicholas… aka the White Russian” — I like it.
• “if your chest says BRUCE you are awesome” — Did someone get written on after passing out last night?
• “advil, ice, and liquor….i love rugby” — Ahhhh, yes. College sports. Add ice baths to that list.
• “Even farting when I’m alone makes me laugh” — Doesn’t it make everyone laugh? Especially a really good one?

Today was no different, except that I went to Barnes and Noble between brunch and dinner and spent about five hours there, studying Discrete Math and completing the reading for my Arabian Nights class tomorrow while sipping on a Chai Tea Latte in the café. Barnes and Noble is one of my favorite places to get work done. The noise level is just right to make me feel comfortable without being distracting. And, since I don’t usually know anyone there, I can work without getting interrupted. Of course, I always allot myself 30 to 45 minutes before the bus comes to browse through the books

Possibly my favorite part of Sunday is going to church at night. At home I went to church because I had to, whereas here I go because I want to. The priest is very charismatic and a great speaker who understands what college life is like, and masses are well-attended by the student body. But church is split between public worship and private prayer, and the latter is really important to me as well. Mass provides me with the opportunity to sit down after a long week, reflect on and and give thanks for all the good things that have happened, and then put the past aside as I ready myself for the next five days of classes, running, and college life.

Mass tonight dealt with the topic of healing. As part of the sermon, Sister Jackie discussed miracles, and shared a story about a time when she felt that she had a guardian angel watching over her. She encouraged us to come up with one miracle that each of us had experienced in our own lives, and to write it down before we went to bed. At first I couldn’t think of any “miracles” that happened to me recently. Then I realized how many small things happen in our lives every day which we might not call miracles, but which are truly worth being thankful for. I often feel like someone is watching out for me, and therefore I don’t worry about decisions that I don’t have control over, because I know that things will almost always turn out fine in the end.

In the fall of my junior year of high school I ran on the Cross-Country team, just as I had for the past five years. We were nearing the end of the season – the District Meet was the next day, followed by the State Meet in a week. It was Friday night, and our team was at the house of one of the senior captains for the customary pre-race pasta dinner. My upper right canine tooth had been bothering me for a few months, aching whenever I ate something too hot or too cold. That night, the pain grew worse and worse until it was impossible for me to sit down because my blood pressure would rise so much that the pain was unbearable. I left in the middle of the movie we had been watching and drove home trying not to think about the pain. My parents and I decided that we didn’t want to go to the emergency room that night just to get painkillers, so I took some leftover vicodin from when I had my wisdom teeth removed and went to bed.

I woke up the next morning feeling extremely groggy from the vicodin. My tooth was still killing me, so I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to ride the bus to the meet with the team. I drove to the school, informed my coach that I was heading to the dentist and that I would hopefully drive up to the meet later. The dentist took some Xrays and told me that I had a large infection inside my gum (later we learned that it was caused by a misformed, extraneous root tip which was removed after two surgeries). The dentist wanted to operate immediately to try to get rid of the infection, but I was thinking the opposite – just give me some painkillers and antibiotics and I’ll deal with it after the race. We hopped back in the car and drove to Missisquoi, Vermont for the meet. The whole time I was in the car, I felt woozy from the previous night’s vicodin. I had taken some Advil but my tooth still hurt. I was seriously debating whether or not I was able to run, but decided to postpone the decision until after I had warmed up.

Coach had reserved a spot on the Varsity team for me, but I got there too late to warm up with the team, so my dad came with me. I got out of the car and took a breath of the crisp, late autumn Vermont air, and I immediately felt better. I started jogging, and with every step my head cleared a little bit more. It felt so good to be running, moving around after the stupor I had felt on the drive up. I got on the starting line feeling incredible, and my team was really happy to see me. The race was a phenomenal one – for both me and my team. I came in 6th out of 90 kids, and I ran a 16:47, the fastest I had ever run a 5K, which stands as my personal record to this day. Our team went 2-3-6-8-12, easily beating the next team, our biggest rival, by 20 points. And we just missed (by 5 seconds) having 5 kids run under 17 minutes, a big feat to accomplish for any high school team. Obviously I was shocked that I had run that well, our team was psyched, and our coach was extremely pleased. That race was one of the best I’ve ever run or will run. It was one of the few races where I got into “the zone,” that elusive level of distance running where the faster you go, the better it feels. The ground was moving under me, and all I had to do was stand still and watch it go by.

I will forever remember that small miracle for its giant effects. That race, one that I wasn’t even sure I would be able to run in, has now become an inspiration to me. It is one of the reasons that I continue to run, to train, to kill myself during races. Every so often, whether it be during a race, or just one of those rare special training runs where the weather is just right and the road stretches on forever under my feet, the results are spectacular.

I eased slowly into school with only one lecture today. I decided to jump up a level and take Honors Electricity and Magnetism after having just taken regular Mechanics last year. This was for a few reasons:

1. Mechanics was not really a challenge last year; I wanted something harder.
2. The Honors course involves more math. I like math. I also believe that a calculus-based physics course is far superior to one that only presents the equations without deriving them.
3. I am an Electrical and Computer Engineering major, therefore I wanted a comprehensive base knowledge of Electricity and Magnetism.

Class went well – the professor is really into his subject material, and that is, I think, the number one sign that the class is going to be a good one. For my other classes, I’m looking at a lineup of Discrete Math, Multivariable Calculus, Signals and Circuits, and a course on The Arabian Nights. I’ll have to see how the extra class affects the workload.

After months of wanting a blog, I have finally decided that the time is right to start one. What better time to add new commitments than now, at the beginning of a new school year, after a nice, relaxing summer. Also, being at school with a dedicated IP address helps immensely. I haven’t really planned out what I want to do with the blog yet. I want it to be a mix of my life, my thoughts, what I’m reading/watching/listening to, and what’s going on in the news. I’m a pretty big Apple fan, so some my posts may be about Apple and my experiences with their products, but there are plenty of blogs that fill that niche already. I guess that I, like all other new bloggers, carry the possibly mistaken belief that my life is interesting enough that others might want to read about it. I hope that someone may find useful, or at least amusing, the things that I write here. My other reason for blogging, besides the fact that I want to share my thoughts, is that I want to become a better writer. The only way to develop writing skills is by … writing! So give me a shout out in the comments, let me know what you think, I won’t be offended. And thank you so much for reading.